Sta.sh
Yet.
Anyone would have noticed how the two boys' gazes lingered on the girl; she was the one that every guy wanted: beautiful, charming, genuine. A summer girl, warm and as fleeting as the sunshine. And when it was cold, her eyes snowed, little snowflakes flickering deep down inside. But it was October right now, and if you looked closely you could see the leaves in her eyes turning colours.
And the two boys yet to be described: Thirteen years old, one little, light brown hair, little, little boy, the other one big, dark, handsome and fierce. And their faces: One a mask of rage and desperation, eyes flared and pleading, the other a taunting, jeering grin, daring the little, little boy to fight back.
Little boy, his dark eyes ask, what will it take to break you?
Little boy was cute, sure, he was cute. The girl noticed, of course. But he would never be anything more. Because he was such a little boy, for thirteen. Like a newborn kitten.
Open your eyes.
Handsome boy was attractive, of course. He was chiseled and burning with adolescence like a dragon. A burning, flaming dragon.
He was also a bully.
"Give it back!" little boy snarled. Gone was the fragile kitten; his dark gold and green eyes were blazing with hatred. Now he looked like a puppy, cornered and baring tiny teeth. Too afraid to whimper, but desperate enough to bite.
Handsome boy glanced at the girl and then quickly faced his victim. He smiled disparagingly, beautifully, but it was a fake grin; his eyes glimmered with mockery. "No," he calmly replied, holding the torn journal behind his back. He looked so powerful, a dragon of muscle and sinew. "What will you do to get it back?"
Little boy was breathing heavily, he was helpless against the bigger boy. But he didn't want to be helpless. "Nothing," said his pride. "Anything," whispered his fear. But he wouldn't let that show, not with the girl watching.
Suddenly, the journal was dangling in front of him, in the careless hand of handsome boy, tormenting eyes alight with fearlessness. Little boy made a snatch at the ripped book, but the bully whipped it back, using his other hand to rip through the buttons on little boy's shirt. Four buttons broke and his shirt slipped. Little boy looked at the girl, his eyes burning with tears.
She stared at him with falling eyes and his light brown hair slipped over his face. Little boy bit his lip and turned back to the bully. But he hesitated: it was hopeless, what could he do?
Handsome boy smiled again and opened the shabby book, "I'll read some, then."
"No!" Little boy jumped forward, but handsome was too quick: he whirled and slammed the puppy to the ground, shirt falling open, buttons scattering. Little boy's eyes were glowing with rage, a glistening golden green again. He swung his head around, hair dancing, looking for help.
"Submit," the tone was still calm but his dragon eyes, oh his dragon eyes.
"No," he would not let himself, not with the girl watching.
"Submit."
"No," he tried to ignore his voice cracking under the strain, feeling rage blaze in his snarling heart.
"Submit!"
"Never!"
Handsome boy looked at his prey and glared with eyes that spat fire. "Very well then." And with the growling kitten struggling under his iron grip, little boy muscles straining under bare skin, he read:
"I'm waiting for the day,
When I'll be tall enough
To face myself in the mirror
And see a man.
I'm waiting for the day,
When I'll be strong enough
To see my biceps when I flex through my shirt.
Maybe then I'll be able to take on the world
Because I'm still waiting for the day,
When my foolish heart will give me love,
And love will be
Something other than confusion.
I'm waiting to be tall enough
To look you in your falling eyes
And see a chance.
And I am still waiting to be strong enough,
To knock you over.
Maybe then you'll fall for me."
Handsome boy had dragon teeth, he laughed derisively and looked down at his victim with glowing eyes that sang of triumph. Little boy wasn't looking, his eyes were tightly closed and his hands were clenched in fists of rage. Handsome looked at the girl briefly, and then said softly, "I'll read some more if you want." His tongue danced around his mouth like a snake.
Little boy didn't open his eyes, afraid of the ocean that might leak out. "Don't," he whispered.
The grin on handsome boy's face matched his tone of voice as he said, a bit louder, "So you submit?"
Little boy opened one glittering golden eye and looked at him angrily. "No."
His handsome eyes glinted back dangerously. "Last chance," he stated.
"Go to hell!"
Little boy didn't see the fist coming. Dragons are unpredictable, especially the handsome ones. At first the puppy didn't register the pain; his first thought was how to explain the bruises to his mother.
Autumn eyes glittered as the girl watched painfully, growing colder and colder. This was her fault, she knew. Dragon boy had handsome teeth, and he could rip little boys to pieces.
Little boy couldn't fight back, he was helpless, oh so helpless.
Slam dragon claws scratched against little boy skin.
Slam he could feel blood in his mouth; it was hot and he didn't like the taste.
Slam things were getting dark and he couldn't feel much anymore.
A cold, lyrical voice slashed through the harsh breathing and heavy thuds of violence. "Stop." The girl was on her feet, and her autumn eyes shone with ice, like stars frozen in time or little leaves frozen on the ground. Beautiful, beautiful girl. Handsome boy hesitated and looked at her in shock.
"I said stop."
Handsome boy stood up, something shifted in his eyes and he smiled with dragon fangs. She didn't trust his shimmering teeth. "Of course," he replied, "anything for you." He looked back at the bleeding puppy and spat on his bare skin before leaving with the journal in his hand, like a dragon breaking his prey before flying away. She stepped in front of him, and he glared at her, shocked, and his throat ached with fire. The frost melted and her eyes flared with colour as she grabbed the ripped journal out of his dragon claws.
Little boy lay on the ground, dazed and broken, shirt ripped apart with buttons scattered around him. He stared up into the girl's eyes, full of shame and gratitude. He couldn't fight off the dragon himself, and now she knew how weak he was.
Little, weak boy, her glistening eyes ask, what did it take to break you?
The girl gazed back at him, so small and tragic, blood trickling on his cheek. It felt like there was blood, no, it was tears on her cheek, and she knew: this is what she was meant to protect.
And if little boy didn't know better, he would have thought he saw a glimmer of admiration in her autumn eyes. A glimmer of hope reflected in his.
But he didn't know that. Because he didn't know love.
Yet.
Sounds strange, I know, but that just goes to show how ideas develop. The strong emotions of fear and desperation appealed to me, and I decided that I wanted to do a scene with young characters, and try to portray complex emotions like love and anger in a unique and simple way.
I thought it was an interesting way to portray the characters. 
Well, when I was in the bathroom late one night, whatever I was doing, I won't give you the details. 
Thanks a lot. 
Thank you for your thoughts.
The story isn't too original, and quite predictable, which caused the length of the piece to annoy me somewhat. You've used a lot of detail, which is good in a way, but bad in another. It's great to make the story alive and rich but I felt that it just wasn't really necessary here to get the message across. The outcome was clear quite early on, basically when you said the dragon was a bully, which made all the detail and length of the story somewhat of a drag to read through.
On the other hand, if it wasn't for all that detail, I probably wouldn't have been able to predict the outcome so easily. What I mean is that you made their world so real and believable with that same detail.
You didn't give them names, something I personally do as well (thinking up names is difficult!), and I really liked that. Instead of a clichéd, symbolic name, you gave them personality through imagery. A dragon and a puppy, a kitten. This gives us so much more insight in who they are, rather than by using names. It also helps with relating to the persons on a personal level, since names often remind us of other people with the same names. It's now much more anonymous and as such easier to identify with.
The poem you put in, along with the two italic parts at beginning and end, add a lot of feeling to the story. They are parts so full of detail, yet so different from the rest of the story that is was pure joy to read them. It all relates perfectly well, even though it feels as though it's not really part of the story when reading it. Those parts give the story an incredibly enjoyable edge.
Of course, it's not like what is said in those parts is full of joy but you wrote it so that it was almost too easy to feel what you wanted us to feel. I've rarely felt along with characters at such a level in such a seemingly effortless way.
All in all, I must thank you for sharing such a great piece with us. The predictability of the story really detracts from the overall quality but the cause for that (making their world too real and believable) and the way in which you make us feel along and give us insight in the characters more than make up for that.
The quote at the beginning caught my eye; the prospect of love ocurring between three thirteen year olds. Young love seems audacious, and fake to many, but the quote opening the story makes it seem beautiful, soft and fragile. By ending the quote with "Yet.", the reader stays clinging for a reason why the characters don't know, and they read on to see if they ever find out.
The idea of the two boys without the name make the story intriguing. Not many sotryteller can recount a tale without names; but the way you make these characters develop give the story a beautiful tone. The soft, puppy like boy being beaten down by the beuaitful ferocious dragon makes the reader pity the young poet, and yearn for the problem to resolve peacefully. By opening the story in a fight scene, the lector is compelled to read further and find out the resolution of the problem. [Many people give up on reading prose on dA becuase it does not capture the attention; something you do wholeheartedly.]
The way the girl is described makes her seem like an angel, and the way she comes to the boy's rescue only reassures this belief. the only part I didn't really like in this story is the poem. What the poem itselfsaid was central to the story, for it compelled the girl to help him, but the part about him cutting himself seems irrelevant. He's talking about winning a girl's love, not comitting suicide over it. That perhaps, is the only complaint i plan to give you.
Overall, it was a great piece; it was easy to submerge into the characters and setting. Similarily, the way you ended it makes the lector question if there is to be more and it leaves us thinking; a creat asset in writing a literary piece. Great job.
+fave definitely.
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